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And After 2012, Came​.​.​. 2013.

by Your Marginally Talented Photographer Girlfriend

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1.
My Sister Has A Cold 01:05
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sniffy stuffy sneezy all day long it's not a big deal but something's wrong my sister has a cold my sister has a cold my sister has a cold my sister has a cold she has a little bit of a headache it's long before it's all that she can take i think she might have caught it from her boyfriend rick i hope she doesn't get me sick itchy stuffy sneezy cough liquid poop and canker sores you can catch it from a rain storm drink hot fluids and stay warm my sister has a cold my sister has a cold my sister has a cold
2.
The Dog Is So Cute 02:55
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! pet his fuckin soft little head, and scratch his butt cuz that gives him joy he'll role over and you scratch his belly now give him a treat cuz he's a good boy he is so cute he is adorabllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllle woof oooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaa!!! sam is a fuckin sweet little cutie pie he has ears and he has a tail sam is a fuckin baby little dumpling with a head like an anvil and a heart like a whale he is so cute he is adorabllllllllllllllllllllllle meow aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! how fuckin cute is the dog? how fuckin cute is the dog? how fuckin cute is the dog? how fuckin cute is saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam? blablablblblblbaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!! when he is waking after sleeping he's just like a muffin: toasty, soft, yet firm go back to sleep and he's filled with cream cheese wake up to him pressing you, that was just a drirm he is so cute he is adorablllllllllllllllllllllle cute adorable so cute
3.
6 Foot 7 01:27
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you see me on the street and you get excited just gotta find out the precise feet and inches don't worry i don't mind, go ahead and ask me no i don't play basketball but boxing is a cinch, yes what do you mean? if i had your height i'd be out there on the court, morning noon and every night i'd be the best at basket ball, half-court shots and taking flight what do you mean now you don't play what a fucking waste of height football, baseball, anything? what a fucking waste of life oh i can't play cuz i'm too clumsy but it's not important to me okay look dick, i don't understand you it's like you don't know basketball is just a game! look man sorry, didn't mean to yell there it's just you're the 5th one today to ask me as far as i'm concerned basketball is okay just not for me a particular interest listen. to yourself you could dunk. without even trying. busting moves so fucking hard spinning dunks that break the board interceptions, 3-point shots passing dunking so damn hot down below they're scared of me jumping to see what i see taking shots and getting swatted i'd be king yo what what what? i think it's unfortunate that you've such passion for this thing that you're too short to be much good at how did this get so important? basketball is just a game and baseball's also just a game and football too is just a game and that is fine cuz games are fun but don't forget to use your mind
4.
Brutally Morbid Homeless Person 02:09
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abandon all life by darkness and chaos let sickness be your shadow the ones forever lost. cookies no more strangers everywhere ride that train to who knows where thin the blood satanic chemistry never again hygiene or dentistry you got well scored a taylormade you fly signs and worship satan more drama than the united nations you're homeless congratulations
5.
Face Off 01:21
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she said a chimpanzee ripped her fuckin face off. is this the police? he ripped her fuckin face off. HELP! PLEASE! BRING YOUR GUN! A CHIMPANZEE IS KILLING MY FRIEND! mam, please, just calm down. i'm gonna hafta ask ya to just calm down. WHAT? HELP! YOUR THE POLICE? SENDS SOME COPS NOW SEND SEND SEND! mam, what? i'm eating a donut don't you understand i'd hafta put it down? YES I UNDERSTAND! PUT IT FUCKING DOWN! mam please watch you mouth put what fucking down? A FUCKING CHIMPANZEE RIPPED HER FUCKING FACE OFF TRAVIS THE CHIMPANZEE RIPPED SOMEONE'S FUCKING FACE OFF LOOK! SHIT! SHE HAS NO FACE! SHE'S BEING HERSELF AND TRYING REALLY HARD! hey wait, we're still the police we kind of suck at doing our jobs YOU HAD A CHIMPANZEE NAMED TRAVIS. HE WAS YOUR FRIEND'S BEST FRIEND. NOW YOU'RE ON TALK SHOWS WITH AN ARTIFICIAL FACE. THAT MUST BE REALLY DIFFICULT I SYMPATHIZE WITH YOU YOU ARE A BRAVE WOMAN AND FUCK THE POLICE
6.
Valar Morghulis 01:29
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barathean: ours is the fury stark: winter is coming lanaster: hear me roar arryn: as high as honor tully: family, duty honor tyrel: growing strong martel: unbowed, unbent, unbroken grayjoy: we do not sew what is dead can never die but rises again, stronger barathean: crowned black stag stark: grey dire wolf lanaster: golden lion grayjoy: a golden kraken what is dead can never die but rises again, stronger
7.
The Universe is a Hyperbolic Manifold 01:56
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the universe, or so i'm told, is a hyperbolic /manifold but/when you pass from math to reality you lose the /element of certainty but if this model you accept the shape must be the intersection of a 4d plane with a 4d shape to be consistent with our concept of time and space we can put a topology on the set of manifolds of dimension three under which the set is compact and its volume function has quasi-continuity this implies that there exists a 3-manifold that's smallest in 1985 it was identified by jeffrey weeks and folks hypothesized that the weeks manifold was a model for the universe oh yeah but that one violates what i/said in the beginning: it's not a cross-section of a 4d thing which manifold has the proper shape is yet to be determined and it's gonna take a lot of hard work to figure this out and even if we do there's a certain amount of error built in/to our assumptions about the nature of the place we live in
8.
Low Guy, High Guy, Gay Guy 01:22
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i am a death metal vocalist i specialize in low and serious and i'm the fuckin guy who sounds like this so pissed off and fuckin losin my shit uh uh ah! rho AH! rrr bplrplbrpl Uuh. high high low low high high high high low low high high low low both i try really hard to sound fuckin scarey while i've simply lost my mind i'm so fuckin angry fuck! fuck you kill me kill your- self and then there's me, i fuckin suck i come along, ruin the song. but sometimes you tolerate that guy for a minute if the rest of the song is all brutal and shit with really good parts with me and him then dope as hell lines with both of them burn the world and listen to metal, bitch.
9.
Emotions 01:09
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[Emotions, by Dorothea Lasky] The flat balloon Wraps around the child's face. This is how it feels when you talk to me, I can't get out of it and you say very little. My hands are holding The balloon tightly on the child's face. I want to feel life. I want to feel The pain that the clouds have made for me. Suddenly the child springs up, gets me a present, and says thank you. His dog follows after him And his dog is made of snow and so am I.

about

This is our first album. It's only 15 minutes long so if you want to call it an EP knock yourself out.

There's a lot of experimenting with recording going on here because of lack of access to the proper equipment, like using mics on video cameras, web cams, different editing software, other shit. The tracks were all made between July 2012 and March 2013. By the end of that time we started figuring our sound out more and also got our hands on some better equipment, so it seemed a good time to put out there what we've done so far. The track listing is chronological to show how we developed. We think we get a little better with each song for the most part. There are videos for many of these songs on Youtube, the playlist is linked in the sidebar.

The picture used for the album cover is from a photo somebody took with Joke's phone after he left it in a bathroom somewhere, and we have no idea who it is. Perfect.

Lastly, your enjoyment of the songs will mostly be much greater if you look at the lyrics.

credits

released April 7, 2013

guitars, drum programming, mixing - Christian Banfield
vocals, lyrics, videos, artwork, mixing - Joke Quinn

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Your Marginally Talented Photographer Girlfriend image

Your Marginally Talented Photographer Girlfriend New York, New York

This band consists of Beanie Barfield and Joke Win. Having been in bands before but feeling sort of left behind, we had talked a lot about wanting to make really heavy (yet comical) music together but were missing the contacts, equipment, money, time, etc. We decided to do it anyway, starting off with almost no equipment beyond a guitar and a webcam and gradually getting our shit together. ... more

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